I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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