Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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