So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
