I'm jealous of your bromance
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
