Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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