they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
