I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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