well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
