My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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