Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize