I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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