Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
