It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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