Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
