hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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