Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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