i just wanna soil my oats bro
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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