I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
