Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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