It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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