Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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