I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
