saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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