im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
