i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
