i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize