If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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