In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
