Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
