So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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