she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
