she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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