i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
