wake up i wanna do it froggy style
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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