I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
