i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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