8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
