apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You ruined the universe
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
