Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
