Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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