Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
