When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
50% drunk capacity currently
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
