she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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