I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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