i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
