Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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