It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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