He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize