...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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