He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize