In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
