Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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