I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
