so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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