She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
