Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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