atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
