Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
