Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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