its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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