Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
