He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
