What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
