Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
