you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
