i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
