Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
