He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
