bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
