it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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