Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize