New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
