Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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