Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
