UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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