Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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