Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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