This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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